Connected Conversationalist Pillows

"The sad part is they're talking to each other."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"Excuse me, Jerrod, but I'm leaving you for Paul's competing narrative."

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"Now can I be in one of your comics?"

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

Person talks on phone as other blogs.

'I've found taking a sip of another table's wine is an effective conversation starter.'

A lesson in wit

Mobile Phones, "Now we are together we will proceed to the business of the day."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'It's funny - I'm a Bourbon, but I've always preferred Scotch.'

Student: 'Is the medical marijuana thing a grass-roots movement?'

'He hacked it off because the women in his weekly painting group never stopped gassing!'

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."

"I understand it all started when he ordered extra toppings on a pizza."

"My main worry is my anxiety."

'The secret is to invite good talkers and good listeners and a good laugh track.'

'No idea. He's been there for as long as I can remember.'

Prisoner speech

Cyber Fight

'Dang it! The gals out here leave little to a feller's imagination.'

'But enough about me...Let's talk about you!'

"Bob's into politics. Date Night is more like Debate Night."