Confidentiality Crusader Gifts

"It's not a bad place to work, aside from the totally oppressive confidentiality agreement they make us sign."

Medical records privacy

'What you say here remains confidential. Except what I tell my wife and she dishes to her gossipy girlfriends.'

'I want to sue my veterinarian. He didn't keep doctorpatient confidentiality and blabbed about my sex change operation to the tabloids.'

White house - 'News leak du jour'.

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

"What a traitor! It is supposed to be a well-guarded secret covered by a non-disclosure agreement..."

Human resources confidentiality.

Man has a shredder as an outbox.

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"Your rule about no yelling out in class...that's a violation of my 1st Amendment rights!"

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"This is the communications workshop, right? Let’s get started, I’m prepared!"

The Freedom of the Press is Worth Fighting For!

'I thought people were quite receptive to the change seminar.'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'Please remember, it's not a lie if it turns a profit.'

'Risky, but I like it!'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

Production: Urgent, Rush, Super Rush.

'I have a typical nine to five job. It's enough work for nine people and I'm treated like a five year old.'

'I didn't realize we'd employed a cyber bully in you, Miss Tweedy.'

Twisted Peel works overtime.

Racial Profiling

"I suppose we should start with listening skills!"

'Way too much information on your resume.'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

When it comes to health issues, I'd rather listen to a physician than a spin doctor.

Funny, this is the same pill the head of the price-gouging drug company needs to take so he can sleep at night, too. Pharmac …