Confession Intrigue Gifts

Trilby - 'Confession

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"If I'd known you were not looking for experience I wouldn't have lied on my CV."

"The truth serum made you say some very hurtful things."

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Boss, what if I told you I forgot to lock up last night and someone totally robbed us blind? I'd say "no problem," because of your contract. My contract? It allows me to auction off your less vital internal organs to recover any damages you cause me. You really should read the fine print before you sign the papers, minion. I did. But I wrote in finer print that all fine print is null and void. Only the ruling class can use fine print, minion.

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"

I've spent all night diluting our negative reviews on Yelp. Really? Yeah. You know how you can usually tell when a business owner does that? They post "reviews" that don't have even a hint of negativity. Amateurs. Check out the negatives I include: "House of Java Cafe. I hate it because it's so perfect, it makes the rest of my day feel inadequate."

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

"...And I cheated at solitaire...twice."

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Damned if they do and damned if they don't? This is BRILLIANT work, everybody! Why didn't we think of this before?"

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

'Stick on Souls'

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

'We only stay together for the sake of the Holy Roman Empire.'

True confession

"Just tell us what we want to know, and you can sit in the comfortable chair."

"Psst. Can you keep a secret?"

Confession plugged up to an amp.

'Okay! I did it! I robbed all those banks on the north end of town! Guilty as charged! Lock me up!'

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

'Admit it, Crawford, this fish was already dead when you caught it!'