Confession Commiserator Pillows

'Wait a minute -- you did all this stuff in a VIDEO GAME?'

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

Tell me about it--last night I ate a whole sleeve of Communion wafers.

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Ice Cream Flavors

Admissions lady: 'I don't take care of myself like I should ... my negligence probably killed a guy once ... I'm secretly attracted to you ...'

This Saturday 10:30 Confessions of a Window Cleaner, Doctor, Nurse, Policeman, Shop Worker, Lollipop Lady, Butcher, Baker, Housewife, Schoolboy...

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

'I'll tell her all about this when she gets home.'

'Don't get me wrong, the Church is glad to hear your confession of improper contributions, but only the I.R.S. can grant absolution.'

With his mothers persuasion, Joe decided to 'come clean' to the police!

"What do you mean the message wasn't directed at me, the Pastor said my full name three times!"

"Forgive me Father, I'm about to sin."

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

The Confessional: a bored priest listens to a confession.

Priests Play Good Priest, Bad Priest

"Look, they get really mad when I dig up the garden, so, can you please sign this statutory declaration..."

'I've been disrespectful again, Dad.'

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

Priest says to man in confessional: 'Blah-de-blah ... come on, get to the good stuff!'

'Fantastic chance to show what you can do...resources are of course stretched...we'd be very grateful.'

'Everything is confidential. We don't need to do scout's honor.'

True confession

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

"What a listener. My burden feels lighter already."

"What's this, a confession written in code. . .?"

Confession plugged up to an amp.

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'I fancy you like mad, Miss Prentice.'

'Good to see you in church on Sunday.' -'So that's where I was.'

"Awesome! I hope you don't mind me re-tweeting this sicko stuff."

"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"

'Okay! I did it! I robbed all those banks on the north end of town! Guilty as charged! Lock me up!'