Commiseration King Pillows

"Mine's a metaphor. I don't know what's going on withyou."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"My wife left me. Then my hard drive died."

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

Proud Parent Of A Medical School Student With Huge Debt.

Dogs Bring Slippers.

Ice Cream Flavors

"See? I told you my fish was undercooked!"

Footballer changes shirt with the ref.

'Sorry I'm late getting home from work. I overslept.'

Due to higher-than-usual caller volume, your wait-time is nine minutes. That's over an hour in wolverine minutes.

"I'm against pain killers for players, but I'm for them for supporters."

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

"I guess I'm just unlucky in love. My first wife left me...and the second one won't!"

'We're having a graduation party for Jerome. Actually, it's more like a fund raiser.'

Cards for All Occasions. Wedding. Get Well. Grads. Congrats. Friendship. Birthday. One "graduation" and one "condolences" … He's afraid of the real world.

"You're obviously under consideration for something."

"This project is crucial guys. Time may be short but you are shorter."

'It couldn't handle one more office reorganization.'

'He said; 'His wife doesn't understand him'.'

'Oh, I will remember alright, but don't worry, I don't hold grudges...'

'He loved his mobile!'

'I insist that each of my employees take at least a week off every three months. It's the best way I can learn which ones I can do without.'

"Always forgive you enemies - nothing annoys them more!"

"The most common craving in pregnancy is not to be pregnant!"

"My wife understands me."

'We call it 'Fred'. He's our best penalty kicker.'

'Wait a minute -- you did all this stuff in a VIDEO GAME?'

'Waiter! I think this crab is underdone.'

'Sorry, but your time on hold has expired. CLICK!'