Cone Of Humor Gifts

"They say I get 152 channels."

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'Missed again, eh, Bob? Maybe you should switch to decaf!'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

Dog wearing a cone

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

"I can't stop licking my boo-boo."

'No need to shout.'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

"I know I said, 'If there's anything I can do,' but I draw the line on licking your incision for you."

"No surgery. I'm just trying to hide a pimple."

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

"Well, team....time to trade our 'You Got This!' coffee mugs to the 'Mistakes Were Made' mugs."

To make your computer faster, please pour two cups of Espresso into your CD drive.

"I accept the cookies I cannot change."

Heirlooms of Tomorrow

"I heard we're now legal in some states."

'I ordered a blueberry muffin - Not a Blackberry muffin!'

Tea Cup Ride

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

The waitress wants me, Lars. I can tell by the dirty things she's been saying to me. "Bottomless cup of coffee" isn't dirty, Al.

Caffeine-Free Kickstart Vending Machine

"It's the only way I can get myself out of bed in the morning."

Cat gets coffee from coffee machine.

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

I love coffee but it goes right through me.

You'd better hope PETA doesn't find out you've got me working up here without a net.