Cone Head Comedian Gifts

"You're right, you can hear the ocean."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

Dog wearing a cone

Teapot

"Guess we are going to the coffee shop!"

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

"Welcome to The Cable Cafe. Your waiter will be with you between now and 5:00PM."

'This decaf's lousy.'

'He's even better when he takes the cue out of it's case.'

"Some people call me a ball-buster, but I prefer cojones-crusher."

'He had a hop-on part in a David Attenborough special.'

"Our breakfast burrito is just like our lunch burrito, except it contains 876 mgs of caffeine."

'Sorry, Bob, but I'm having trouble taking our relationship seriously.'

"It's our largest truck...and it comes with a spare car."

Swelling

"I like to keep my option open."

"Whoa! Just decaf today. I only had 15 hours of sleep yesterday."

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

Laurel and Hardy police protection - "And don't worry about informing on the mob. I've arranged that two of my men give you 24 hour proctection."

'Okay children, who knows the actions to I'm A Little Espresso Machine?'

"Ho ordered the Cafe au Lait?"

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

"Is that decaf?"

Traffic cone tells bollard: 'It's a tough life ... always on the road.'

'We've done all we can, but these beans... *sunglasses* ...Have expired.'

'Don't freak out...' Man and his puppet, who has a puppet of its own.

"Actually, I am underwater."

Stirrbucks

Does THAT satisfy your commitment to the Trade Description Act?

Triple espresso, please. No caffeine for you, Uncle Mort. I am not your Uncle Mort. You know the doctors have said "no caffeine," Uncle Mort. I don't know what you're talking about. My name is Mr. Somewunneruther. "Mister Somewunneruther"? Yes. Of the Minnesota Somewunneruthers. We're a very old and respected family. We came over on the Sunflower. Mayflower!!! One gentle flower chamomile tea, coming up.