Cone Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

Dog wearing a cone

Dog Walker

Shaved Ice

'If it's any consolation, I'm having him fixed next week.'

'You see?! These cones may keep us from licking ourselves, but they really enhance our sense of smell.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

iPhone Senior

"She keeps trying to mold me into her own image."

"Laugh if you want, but I have my phone in here."

"I liked the couch better where it was."

"The governor's granted your stay, but the zucchini fries tonight."

Shooting Cupid.

'I've been trying to buy a condo in Vancouver! They say that real estate prices are going through the roof! At least that's how my agent explained the hole in the ceiling.'

'Well that's what you get for picking your scab. . .'

"You're not really getting this whole mask thing, are you, Bob?"

News. We're supposed to eat from the food circle. It's replacing the food pyramid. It's a lot more fun to eat from the food cone!

"That's just one of his little jokes."

'Look on the bright side. It adds a cool echo effect to your bark.'

Highway cone tepee.

'Unfortunately it gets a bit smelly up here when we have a mackerel sky.'

"How the hell do they get us into one of those tiny cans?"

"You're right, you can hear the ocean."

"This guy bothering you pretty lady?"

"They say I get 152 channels."

'Were you out drinking last night?'

"As a young man growing up in today's complicated world, I think it's important for me to stay in touch with world events."

'Yes son, rolling in a ball is a pretty good defence mechanism, but I like to use my club as a deterrent as well...'

The Cone Ranger

"It's okay, there's no need to shout!"

I told you there was something weird about that horizon line.

'Here's your last meal, Murdock - or, as we like to call it, your 'ciao chow.''