Condo Comedy Enthusiast Gifts

'I've been trying to buy a condo in Vancouver! They say that real estate prices are going through the roof! At least that's how my agent explained the hole in the ceiling.'

What's that? - 'It's a mosquito bite.' - 'Scratch it!' - 'No, I need to buy some cream.' - 'Make it bleed!!!' - 'Gahhh!!!' -

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'And this is Eddy, he's been giving virtual tours long before computers.'

Vaudeville producers audition a singing Canada goose.

"Maybe I haven't suffered enough. Why don't you whip up some of your curried pork balls and refried rice for dinner?"

"Are you walking the dog? We live on the third floor!"

'Stocks rose on news engineers are close to developing a car that runs on lattes!'

101 Positions/101 Excuses

Affordable housing

'If it was mine, I'd put it up for sale, invest the proceeds, and get myself a nice little condo.'

'Just look at it! The lot alone is worth an underwater mortgage.'

'You thought having 'flu would get you out of doing the dishes.'

"You know I don't like to cuddle."

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

'If the children can grow up and leave home, why can't you?'

Dinner's gonna be late - any questions..?

Shooting Cupid.

The First Odd Couple

"Please bring him home safely so I can kill him."

'I'm sorry Rudi - we're looking for something a bit closer to the shops'

"Really? You're going to use that to catch candy?"

"Either the house was built on a flood plain..."

"Pass me one of them, love."

Gone Berserk, your dinner is on the ceiling

"That was really funny, Gramps, what was it called?"

The Golden Age of Marking Territory

'I just found the Tories public spending requirement down the back of our sofa.'

'I thought this house sounded a bit cheap.'

Home for sale (husband and TV included).

"I guess I'll just sit here since I can't risk being seen wearing everybody's stuff. On a more positive note, I'm actually saving money."

'I don't know what you're mad at me for. I didn't invite my husband to the wedding!'

'Your dung is in the oven.'

"How ironic."