Condom Connoisseur Gifts

Condom discussion

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

"This stool shall pass."

Dog Walker

'Choose, Fenster

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

Shaved Ice

'It's Blurred.'

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

'Harold took the advice of the 'experts' and only invested in things he understood, which is why our portfolio consists entirely of Anheuser-Busch and Phillip Morris.'

'All You Can Eat Wings.'

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

Sleigh Ride

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

The violin lesson

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

"Well, technically, he's supposed to draw the sword from the stone....but I'm not going to argue the point."

Today's Rapunzel

A guy is looking at his car that's about to go over some falls.