Condom Connoisseur Pillows

Condom discussion

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"I feel like that I've been given a unique oppurtunity to speak out on issues."

Dog Walker

'Just look at him. The face that lunched on a thousand chips.'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

'Choose, Fenster

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Shaved Ice

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Bye dear! I'll have another nice reindeer steak ready for you when you get back.'

'Wine represents all things civilized. It's an artistic expression, a manifestation of cultural enlightenment...'

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'It's Blurred.'

"We're gonna need a bigger comic."

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

Tomato's, Cucumber's, Apostrophe's.

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'When you said you were a bee keeper...'

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"Thank you, gentlemen, and may the best networked man win."

'In an unexpected development, an illegal alien won 'American Idol.''

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

Sleigh Ride

'This month I'll be cooked & my bones ripped apart in a wishing contest.'

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

'As you can see, the region is full of investment opportunities.'

The violin lesson

Today's Rapunzel

'Guess what, I got a job tallying bananas.'

'Next year we'll bring the turkey.'

"Well, technically, he's supposed to draw the sword from the stone....but I'm not going to argue the point."

"It's the naps you don't take that you regret the most."