Concussion Crusaders Gifts

"Junior, there's more to life than winning. There's also getting compensation for closed-head injuries."

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Be kind"

"I'm in nonprofit work for the money."

'Ladies and gents, the executive-worker pay ratio is not what it used to be!'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

Nervous Student

Please Give

"No caffè latte? And you call yourselves a bookstore?"

'What do you mean by, your people do not want to get in touch with my 'kind' of people?'

'A 'pregnant pause' is effective only if you've already said something.'

"I suggest you take an Empathy pill every day."

Be an Anti-Bullying Hero! Choose Respect.

"I volunteer for the Samaritans. I tried to phone in sick this morning but they talked me out of it."

"I suspect he might be depressed, let's give him a label and see whether a few years of unemployment and poverty helps his condition!"

"Isn't it more important to learn how to be a decent human being?"

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

"We all make mistakes. That's why pencils have erasers!"

Food Banks - The Need/The Donation.

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."

"I'm bored: Let's go and swoop over cyclists' heads and scare the heck out of them..."

'Notice how the TV goes dim when we stop pedalling!'

"I never ask for a raise any more. I just hack into the boss's computer and give myself one."

Money - troops to fight terrorism, promote democracy, protest oil? Lots and lots. Money, help, attention, to save 800,000 people from starvation? Not much.

'He's been driven mad by reading about all these huge litigation cases...'

"Not again!"

"I've got a little job for you, Kretchmer. I want you to infiltrate the I.R.S. and sow the seeds of compassion."

"How can you suggest that this university's research facilities have been co-opted by the military?"

Been Injured In An Accident That Wasn't Your Fault! Call...Wilbur & Ohnson.

But who care for these poor little seal pups if I don't?

'It's one of the worst parts of the job. Seeing people in the most awful conditions. Cold, squalid, not fit for human habitation...It's no wonder we can't keep the staff.'

Dalai Lama