Conclave Connoisseur T-Shirts

Conclave.

"I think I need an extra pillow."

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

Hats and Food

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

GPC needs to make its new formula foolproof.

Yummy Mummies

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'The bigger they are... The harder they hit!'

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

I'd like to talk about absenteeism.

"I can't wait for things to get back to normal."

What's the insect de jour?

'It is so nice to be able to take a break mid trip...'

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'He has a very open mind. Everything goes in one ear and out the other.'

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

Doughnut Criminals

'Waiter, there's a mysterious stain on this napkin.'

'Monsieur, in this café you've got to dance your order.'

"I was really impressed by the way you sent back the wine, though it did come in second to the waiter's uppercut."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

"They must be having a two-for-one promotion tonight."

"Well, for starters, Matt has been showing definite improvement in risk-taking."

'What if this time, more heads has made us more stupid?'

Due to obsessive and intrusive attention by the Media, this news conference will be cancelled

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

"...ummm, remember that guy from Pennsylvania that you dumped?"