Concepts Cop Gifts

Art Plagiarism

The Map of the human brain

"Look! No hands!"

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

"Actually, I worked my way up from 'ideas'."

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"When I grow up I'm going to be a police officer and follow in my dad's footsteps."

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

'Hey! I've just had a great idea! How about a light bulb...?'

'Does my bum look big in this?'

"That's out idea department – the door was one of their ideas."

"I always wondered why they called you detectives, 'gum shoes'."

When asked to show some identification,the policemen produced their badgers.

'It seems to be pretty easy, chief. The victim was a fishmonger and we've got a motive, a culprit and a murder weapon.'

'I saw him go that way.'

'Oh, how moving, it's a woodland burial, Dennis.'

Ed's super-romantic but he's always a police detective. He calls our love 'consensual identity theft.'

"Yes I have an alibi. I was at home practicing ventriloquism with Mr Chuckles. Isn't that right Mr Chuckles?"

"You're not a bad dog for driving. You're a bad dog for not wearing a seat belt."

'Get me two new officers to play good cop bad cop.'

"We're all metric now..."

"It's for you - it's my lawyer."

'I've invented copyright.'

"We haven't been able to pick up his trail. We think he's using invisible ink."

Police Academy - Remedial Reading of Rights

"Looks like another case of sneezing while driving."

'This is Ferguson, one of our few unspecial agents.'

Thinking outside the box (or shell).

How to make a concept album

Good Cop/Hollywood Cop: "Confess or my partner will make you read his screenplay."

'I'm sorry, Mum. But, if I let you off, I'll have to let everyone's mum off.'

'Well, that'll be an expensive bit of fun, buddy!'