Comic Cop Gifts

'Yeah it looks like we finally caught that peeping tom...'

The only time cats are known to laugh.

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

Jim Carrey,

John Cleese.

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

The hostage rescue team

Spike Milligan

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

Woody Allen

Alan Carr

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

Comedy course highlights fake nose

Colin attempts to be useful around the house didn't always have the desired effect.

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

"We're all metric now..."

Containment Cops

'I'm a Fringe performer.'

Dawn French.

'You said he wasn't a dirty comedian. This guy is filthy!'

'Our office is on the 14th floor, Peters... you should forget about rising sea levels.'

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

'For some reason they've nailed the mike to the floor.'

'So how do you like the new job?' - 'Not bad, better than walking the streets.'

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

"Your speech made the Wall Street Journal and Comedy Central."

Peter Cook

"Do you really want to tell me that you don't know anything about the vanishing of 21 socks within the last four months??!"

Graham Norton.

Comedy Corner.

"We heard you were dying in here."

"Well, of course all of my jokes are going to punch down."