Computer Specialist Gifts

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'The way the virus works is it doesn't affect the computer itself, but it makes the user ignorant of how to use a computer.'

"There! I've deleted you from my database!"

"I know we're supposed to get rid of 'superbugs', but ours is the only one that understands the IT systems!"

'I guess you could consider it a transfer. We're putting you in the cloud.'

"You'll be please to know we've ascertained the problem - a vampiric virus that simply requires a stake through the hard-drive."

"He downloaded a virus which crashed all the company's computers. If you ask me, they're being a little hard on him."

'I think I set the security level, on my anti virus software, too high. Whenever I access anything it is automatically deleted.'

I blame it on the system. On my last stretch I did a computer course, and now I'm in for computer fraud.

Out Box - "I think he used to work in computers."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'A career in computers, Cap't Hook, isn't for everyone.'

The TV asks a man on a computer: 'Don't you love ME anymore?'

The AdRams Family no.1- Computers for kids

'I'm on Break.'

Nethead strip: Communication breakdown

The Boundless Blue Screen of Death

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

In the Guru District

The Computer Bore

"Actually, she's just a figurehead boss. Our real CEO is an algorithm floating around somewhere in the cloud!"

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

Dear, could you please pick up some batteries? The ones in the remote are dead and I feel like I'm Amish.

21st century water cooler conversations.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

Out and In.

The DaVinci Code

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'