Computer Scientist Gifts

"On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog."

'I was wrong...you can teach an old dog new tricks.'

'I have a homepage, therefore I am.'

'The good news, Dave, is that the computer's passed the Turing test. The bad news is that you've failed.'

Roger Buffle Jr. supplies his father with yet another computer password.

'Due to recent technological advances, everything I taught you about computers is no longer valid.'

'I just wanted to thank you for grounding me to my room for the weekend. I took the time to start a computer programming company, which earned me $13 million.'

The Evolution Of Man - Hunt and Gather/Point and Click

"Who said you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"

Computer with owner on a leash like a dog

"Basically it makes the same mistakes we've always made - but it makes tham so much faster!"

"I'm afraid that kidney went to somebody who can write code."

"What about that! His brain still uses the old vacuum tubes."

'This problem has been my life's work. I planned to devote my remainig years to it. It's just been solved in four seconds.'

'It figures. If there's artifical intelligence, there's bound to be some artificial stupidity.'

"A virus ate my homework."

"Networks, databases, the internet, the web, where is it all going?" Computer answers - "I haven't made up my mind yet!"

"You'll soon get the hang of the simple Linex 3968X with 4936.." Norman began to think he might be better suited to a career in double glazing."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

'Yes, I am bilingual. I speak English and Computerese.'

Turing Test Today

The secret thoughts of smart machines.

Evolution of man, starting at ameba through to computer

Megabyte Information Processing Center.

'What's the use? Everyone has his own PC future-probability program these days.'

"I'm sorry...but I've just been informed recent technological advances have rendered this course obsolete!"

At long last, true artificial intelligence. 'The heck with this. Let's go fishing!'

'I've cracked it! It's all in German!'

The Thinker

'I have millions of answers...how about a few questions.'

"I think, therefore I am...hungry?"

'This is what people had to use before they got antennae.'

"Smaller, more powerful chips allow me to have a smaller head."

Early Computers Took Up Whole Rooms

'Computers cannot do logic. I can do logic. Therefore, I am not a computer.'