Computer Sciences Gifts

Wordplay: Database.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"I'm going to bombard you with graphs until you agree with me."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"Welcome to the future"

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Computer Room.

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

The Computer Bore

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'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

'3 Second Loading Zone.'

'My name's Google and I'm being inundated with requests for information about every damn thing imaginable, by people I don't even know...It's endless!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

The DaVinci Code

"The report is clear that cyber crime is on the increase, it's a worry."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

Moses on the web

"Now that's what I call customer service!"

"He's taught himself work-life balance."

'How can we believe anything when we can disprove everything?'