Computer Rookie Gifts

"How long have you had this fear of computers?"

"I'm still trying to get used to ordering food online."

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"I want one that detects intrusions by hackers, then blows their computers to bits!"

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

"He's at that awkward age...he knows just enough about computers to really screw them up."

STRIP Hambone: Number cruncher

Essex computer.

"I had to hire younger employees to keep up with today's technology and social media."

'I guess this is what we get for going to a discount web-page designer.'

"At least you have taste when it comes to your computer's wallpaper."

"Don't worry Mac, I'll have that happy face back in no time."

"Tonight, Daddy's going to teach you how to stay save on the internet."

Computer books for dummies.

'I hereby sentence you to 40 years labor in an office with fluorescent lighting, just enough salary to keep you alive...'

"I'm sure he was a great blocker when he was playing, but I doubt he'll be a great ad blocker."

Bubbie Selfies

STRIP Hambone: "System been down long?"

"Never ask Dad about technology. He thinks a semiconductor is someone who leads the Boston Pops for half a year."

'How can he remember 37 passwords but always forget to pick his clothes up off the floor?'

"You butt dialed me 187 times in less that an hour, dad."

"Sorry, closed today. Our humans are down."

In-Tray, Out-Tray and Lost.

STRIP Hambone: Training wheels on a computer

"He's young and eager to change the world, but I'd be happy if he'd just change his underwear."

'Hello, technical support? Which one is the 'any key'?'

"Banking, booking flights, shopping - there's no limit to what he can't do on the internet."

"Let's take it step by step. How do I turn it on?"

'We're taking baby steps with this whole social media thing until we're certain it pans out.'

"Please—no technology questions!"

"Well, if you'd married a dentist like I wanted, maybe HE could explain Bluetooth to me!"

Video Chat with Dad from his new smart phone.

"They say registering online should take ten minutes to two days, depending on my computer skills."