Computer Hardware Gifts

Early attempts to turn a macro-chip into a micro-chip.

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'You forget, I'm a blackbelt in powerpoint.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

The Computer Bore

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

Online form - Submit.

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."

Out and In.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

The Googler

Right click for yes...

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Robotic Man

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

'Here's MY information highway!'

Evolution.

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

'Who changed the password to 'arf'?'

Multi-tasking.

'You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it while I was in the womb.'

'...and in 1/100000 of a second, it can compound the programmer's error 87,500 times.'

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

The Little Search Engine Who Could: 'I think I can...I think I can...'

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"Quick, Lassie, go get I.T.!"