Hardware Gifts

Many hardware stores now provide sketch artists to help their customers recall the part they need.

"Do you have anything to help get rid of these?"

"Just one more site!" "I'm totally, like, in control!" "I can quit anytime I feel like it..."

Power and the Glory tools

"Nails? - Certainly sir. How long do you want them. . . ?"

OBSOLETE: Any piece of software or hardware that you bought last week for mega bucks.

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

Not all service desk staff were pleased about the new bring your own device policy

'The middle one is cute.'

'It's an old work injury.'

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'

Hardware and software

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

A repairman has a small box marked 'Useful Screws' next to a huge box of 'Useless Screws.'

Witness Protection Program

"Dad needs a Phillips screwdriver. Who's Phillip?"

"Do you have anything in a smaller size?"

'Computers' 'Hardware' 'Software'

"I'm looking for a bolt-hole"

"Alfresco Plumbing & Hardware Supplies"

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"I think these may be counterfeit bolts."

Hammer chases nails

"Hacksaws as seen on 'Dexter' $19.99."

"It's not just ANY screwdriver, it's a model ALH-HJY675 with a positron left hand shaft and polymodindium core!"

"I've installed a new internal hard drive. Damn machine's still not working!"

"Is it the hardware store? I would like to order a small piece of copper pipe and two plastic balls!"

"And where did you get the idea for your screwdriver, Mr. Phillips?"

Hardware Store. Do you have any fans? No, I'm not all that popular.

"You can find the DIY section yourself."

Ironmongers

Acid and solvents R Us

If you're going to flap that hard, you need to tighten the wing nuts!

"You're kidding me, right? this look like some fancy finishing nail store to you?"

Man's Heaven Versus Hell