Computer Crisis Combatant Gifts

Blue screen of death

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'This Power Point slide has a dynamic layout comparing reading scores throughout the district, which you would have seen if I remembered to bring a spare projection bulb.

'Miss Baxter, bring me another computer.'

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'I can't get the hang of this cloud computing...'

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

Trying to switch on the computer.

Wringing the Monitor

"Who should I call first: 911 or technical support?"

The Importance of Data Backup.

'Give me the name of your first girlfriend, first car, and first pet!'

Love Hate Computer Relationship

"Let me through! I'm admin!"

'Fighting broke out today in Silicon Valley between PC aficionados and Mac owners...'

Computer frustration

"Apparently, it wasn't a figure of speech when he said his computer locking up made him so mad his head was going to explode."

'I said use your toolbar, NOT your crowbar.'

Computer Confusion

Colin had his own way of dealing with a computer malfunction

'That's one way to 'shut down' the system...'

Cyber War

"Now I'm afraid."

'We need to add an eleventh - 'thou shalt not spam.'

'I sent the wrong email by mistake - I'm trying to get it back!'

Computer fight.

"This is a support group for phone victims. Frank butt dialed. Bib drunk dialed, Anne there talked bad about someone, but didn't realize she hadn't hung up..."

"We've stored too many passwords in it. It's going to explode! Run!"

'Computer crashed again, Martin?'

"Every password I've ever had."

"It's a new program that deploys an airbag whenever your computer crashes."

"Tech support say I should switch it off, leave the building and never come back!"