Computer Crisis Captains Gifts

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

"Have you tried turning it off and on again?"

'Crisis'

"Is there a spin doctor in the house?"

Desk bins contain fires to be put out.

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'You don't need separate bedrooms. You need separate computers.'

'We've simplified the control to 2 buttons - snooze and panic.'

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

Inflation wave

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

"First, locate the pin on your extinguisher..."

'Still no bailout for us, sir, but don't give up hope!'

"Let me through! I'm admin!"

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"Apparently, it wasn't a figure of speech when he said his computer locking up made him so mad his head was going to explode."

"Cancel that call to tech-support. This may be beyond their capabilities."

"It is against computer viruses!"

Colin had his own way of dealing with a computer malfunction

'That was a test of our school's emergency broadcasting system. If this were a real emergency, you would have been asked not to talk to reporters.'

'I sent the wrong email by mistake - I'm trying to get it back!'

Emergencies: The World Economy

'I know you part own the bank but if you don't let me have a bonus and give me your money no loan!'

"Tech support say I should switch it off, leave the building and never come back!"

'Sorry - I've deleted you,'

'This one is for not complaining about being stretched too think handling domestic and foreign crises.'

'Forget fire and heat, this modern hell. You've got to walk through a mall with thousands of shops, and you've got 20 credit cards with exceeded credit limits!'