Credit Crunch Captains Gifts

'I know you part own the bank but if you don't let me have a bonus and give me your money no loan!'

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Man with pirate eye patch and bandana giving a lecture

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

I'd rather be at the office.

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

Sportknitting

'I hate to see you work during your lunch hour, so do me a favor and close your door.'

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

'Our cries of Armageddon were completely ignored, so let's just keep throwing money at the economy.'

Jerry, times are tough. I'll take your iou for $75 only if it's written on a $100 bill.

"Is there anyone here who specializes in stress management?"

Global Money Markets Roller-Coaster Ride.

'We've got to think about our lending policy for small businesses... Like my tailor!'

Executive Travel Agency: Ego Trips Our Speciality

BUS, 'I've got all my money tied up in securitized mortgages or mortgaged securities -- I forget which.'

A man gets attacked by his credit report.

Tsipras Discus

"It is too a period of recovery."

Businessman turning to self-improvement seminars due to foreign competition,takeover bids, and restructuring.

"Spinning, reefing, tacking...they sound like a dress making circle."

Dracula is refused a loan from the Blood Bank 'Your credit rating is terrible!'

'(Sigh!) I doubt if the country will ever have a mood of optimism again....'

'I got tired of trying to get it into one of those tiny bottles.'

'Dinner will be a little late -- I was overcome by the fumes.'

Emergencies: The World Economy

Garlic Express

Cristina Kirchner

'I don't want to talk about contraception. I'm more about misconception.'

'That's the last time I ever let you try to fix the microwave.'

'Great! Now I don't even have any walkin-around-bitchin'-about-not-having-any-money, money.'