Cash Crisis Jester Gifts

"Tut! You've tapped in the wrong number again!"

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'We should buy London and ship it to the States!'

Why markets crash.

'Oh, no! It's all in euros!'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

'Wait a minute....!

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

City Redundancies - In? Out?

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

'The hard hats? In case of falling interest rates.'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

"We bring him gifts of gold, frankincense and mercantile mutual hedge fund options."

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

'I bet he gets a better rate of interest than me!'

The company's going bankrupt,you'll need to get someone in to bite my nails for me!

The truth about the death of the Dinosaurs.

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

'Our nest egg finally got rotten.'

Road to Recovery: Snakes and Ladders.

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'Can you check my balance.'

'Give it to me straight, Doc - just how long-term should my long-term investments be?'

Man ironing out a line graph.

"if you miss a payment, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down."