Bankruptcy Jester Gifts

'Six kids in college! Laid off from work! Installment payments due 7 days a week...and our lawyer keeps saying 'Not Yet, Not Yet!''

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

Why markets crash.

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'All in favor of just laughing it off, say ha, ha, ha.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"I say we move on to dessert."

"So, is there any other funny business to attend to?"

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

Justice 4 Ron

Basketball.

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

'Wait a minute....!

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'