Debt Jester Gifts

Santa's Payday Loan Grotto

"FINAL demand'. Does that mean they have given up asking?

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

'So what do you think of my report, sir?'

Why markets crash.

'Honestly Bob, it's not that bad. If you can make as much next year as you did this year you'll be able to pay off your outstanding taxes for last year. That'll just leave the interest, the tax for this year and... my fees.'

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Practical loans vs. devil-may-care loans.

Fries and kids

'In this class you will learn to apply the talents of creative writing to accounting.'

"Are you sure you haven't overvalued the worth of your business?"

'Wait a minute....!

"I don't consider a missing four million dollars to be 'monkeyshines'."

Eurobonds Explained.

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

IRS Audits. Do you have tax records? No, I pay about the same as most people.

GAS. If you have to ask, you probably can't afford it.

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"You gave us quite a scare there Mr. Edwards! We thought we lost your credit card information."

'So, they weren't interested in your Robin Hood tax then.'

'Congratulations! And please give your parents this receipt for $148 thousand.'

"I asked my friends over to see how much the adults are leaving us to pay off!"

Horror Theater. Now Playing. Return of the Deficit.

'I guess you could say we're a 'faith-based' company. Everyone worships the dollar around here.'

'It may seem we're sinking deeper into debt, but really we're just experiencing a quarter of negative growth.'

'Dear sir, every month we place all bills in a big pile on the table, and select six at random for payment...'

'With the economy the way it is, there's no silver lining. In fact we sold that last week!'

"Prospectus in not spelt P...R...O...A...G...A...N...D...A."

Graduating students asking for cash donations.

"Yes, this is heaven - but we need some source of funding, too."

"We went dutch - he must have reached his two-hundred-dollar dating deductible."

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

'Stock Market re-entry now safe. . . City analysts say.'

"Wow! Even from space the Italian mountain of debt is visible!"

"Of course we're not in a recession. No one has even jumped out of a window."