Loan Jester Gifts

'I'd like to borrow enough to buy this bank.'

"You can't lend me the £100 I asked for, only £70? Don't worry, you can own me the rest."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

'How about a game of cards?'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"#notguilty."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

Yawning barristers in court

"I say we move on to dessert."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

"Since you had so much fun with the Home Equity Loan I gave you, this year's stocking will be filled with a shiny new Notice of Foreclosure."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

Basketball.

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

"If you miss a payment, we show up and embarrass you in front of your friends."

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'He started it!'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

'If you can't afford a media adviser the court will appoint you one.'

'The score is tied and we've only got a 20-second timeout, so we've gotta be quick. ... I'm 'X'. Who wants to be 'O'?'

'Have you seen the ruddy margins the Chinese expect us to take up for this work?'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"I got probation."