Book Jester Gifts

'Good boy.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Bad Interview Technique

Books / Coffee table books

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

King and Jester

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"Man, I hate jester auditions."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

'I found it to be the kind of book that once you put it down you never want to pick it up again.'

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

"Remember, Jeremy, thou art immortal."

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

To sleep, perchance to wake up as a different person.

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Poet's Corner

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

'If you're opening a joint account, Dr. Jekyll, the other account holder has to be here to sign.'

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

Jester

Sudoku. Oh, no!

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'