Book Jester Pillows

'Good boy.'

'My reading comprehension is so-so, but I do make up for it with my highlighting skills.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

"Take this declaration of war and punch it up."

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Stone Age women were less happy than men at the arrival of the iron age: Look what I've invented just for you darling.

Books / Coffee table books

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

King and Jester

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

"Guilty of a sense of humor in a tight-ass world."

"Gracie, don't worry so much about your big test... You know, when I was your age, I didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'. Until I looked it up."

'Hey! I just started my James Patterson novel and I'm on chapter 97!' 'You read 20 pages already?'

'I found it to be the kind of book that once you put it down you never want to pick it up again.'

'My wife used too much fabric softener.'

"Remember, Jeremy, thou art immortal."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'Like to read, huh? Me, too. I'm a big reader. I just finished a book by Brown. You know Dan Brown? Great writer...'

Poet's Corner

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

'My dog chases everyone on a bicycle!'

Jester

Watch the author miss his deadline 4 to 7

"Face it, darling - you've reached that 'funny age...'"

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

'I don't suppose an apology would suffice?'

'Someday one of us will look back on this and laugh.'

Finish Annual IOK Grunion Run

"Would you be upset if we marked it as humor?"

'My teacher says if I made bad grades, I'm spending too much time in front of the TV. I say if I made good grades, I'm spending too much time at school.'