Computer Crisis Czar Gifts

"My computer still won't work. It must still hold a grudge from when I punched it in frustration."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

'What I don't like about computers is that you can't fire them.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

'Half-time, full-time - It's gone into penalties, woman!'

'I had every intention of giving you your pay check, Ken, but the payroll computer has decided you don't deserve it.'

The six stages of hard drive death and dying.

'You don't need separate bedrooms. You need separate computers.'

'Geek computer hackers wouldn't have survived a week at MY West Point!'

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

Trying to switch on the computer.

'Nope...1443 bloggers have already panned it.'

"Who should I call first: 911 or technical support?"

"Your computer is fine. It's your brain that has a lot of useless programs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't come with an uninstall button."

"As an attorney half my time is spent in court. The rest is evenly split between sitting at my computer and looking for parking."

"Let me through! I'm admin!"

"Apparently, it wasn't a figure of speech when he said his computer locking up made him so mad his head was going to explode."

"You haven't seen my name on the CNN crawl line, have you?"

Climate Change Umbrellas

'Fighting broke out today in Silicon Valley between PC aficionados and Mac owners...'

"It is against computer viruses!"

'I've been procrastinating on lots of projects all morning, which means I've been multitasking, which mean I've earned a nap.'

Colin had his own way of dealing with a computer malfunction

Blue screen of death

Why early computers were so big

'I sent the wrong email by mistake - I'm trying to get it back!'

"Tech support say I should switch it off, leave the building and never come back!"

Gurkenman Used the Company PC to Visit P**n Sites Again...What a Pig!!

"Try rebooting your computer again..."

"This computer is not very fast. On the other hand it took my mother nine months to unload me!"

"I understand you have a problem with computer bugs?"

Common error # 5 made by novices using a computer to make a sewing pattern: putting the thread directly into the disk drive.