Compost Whisperer Gifts

Try to extinguish the potting shed...brush wood ash into a neat pile - it will make valuable plant food.

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Award Winning Gardener

Mantis Love

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'Hey, that one looks just like a visible mass of condensed water vapour floating in the atmosphere.'

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

Agricultural Psychology

"Before invasive species, the only things I could grow were weeds and mildew."

Planting veggies

"I'm feeling somewhat optimistic. Let's get perennials."

"Save yourself — it’s a casserole!"

Summer in Elysium and The long vacation in Arcadia

'If all goes according to plan, this garden should reach crisis proportions by midsummer.'

Two 'superheros' show the discrepancy in toilet paper production.

"How are we on bread?"

"If obsessing about trash is wrong, then. . . I don't wanna be right."

I bake my own bread.

Beware of the Lawn

Bakery. The smell of freshly baked bread is the only truly perfect man-made thing on earth.

Park cleaner orders leaf to come down.

"Boy I love this garden, there are flowers everywhere: Not only is the lady a keen gardener, but she is retired now..."

"Retirement was a culture shock, I still haven't mastered 'pottering'."

Professor...what are you doing?

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

The World's best Camouflage Store.

'And this is the secret of how our company gets through hard times: we grow all our own food!'

'The old man's really serious about his rooftop gardening.'

I'm looking for a job?

"Did you get it at Bed, Birch and Beyond?"

In the red