Crop Whisperer Gifts

2010 fortune teller.

"Dealing with a poorly informed public over GM crops is a nightmare...."

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

'Crop Predictions'

"We got by without early blight or late blight, but we have better late than never blight."

"You forgot to adjust your hilling discs again, didn't you?"

Agricultural Psychology

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Award Winning Gardener

Botany Baby!

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."