Environment Whisperer Gifts

You heard earth's just entered its sixth great extinction event? Really? Vertebrate species are dying at a rate not seen since the dinosaurs dies off. This time it's thanks to us. But the good thing is, scientists think humans will die off pretty early in this mass extinction. How's that a good thing? We won't be around to hear the other animals say "I told you so."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

The Busy Gardener

'What motivated you to become a environmentalist?'

"God, I hope no one asks me to sing."

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

Plant Lady

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Goddess.

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

'I know that bird feeder is guaranteed to be squirrel-proof, but I still think they are getting in there.'

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Ed's tree hugging was out of control."

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Botany Baby!

He can lean back in contentment on cowslip banks and let everything wash over him.

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"

An old man growing berries

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

Woman in hospital has i.v. attached to plant.

'Now it fits.'

'I slave away all summer getting the garden just right to relax in - then autumn arrives!