Complaint Extraordinaire Pillows

Faulty Toaster

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Flyfishing for dummies.

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Don't forget to click 'Reply All.'"

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

Moanathon.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

"What already?! If it weren't for my extraordinary willpower, I'd be exercising right now!"

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

Airline concerns.

'My expense account isn't what it used to be. So for lunch I'm taking you fishing, and we'll eat what we catch.'

'Anyone can get to school on time if he tries hard enough, Eddie.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Hello, Room Service?'

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

'Never mind your ideas.. how do you come up with your excuses?'

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

Wal Max - Complaints Department