Complaint Commissioner Gifts

"I invent things to complain about."

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

Complaints Desk

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Cast away in a life raft with Dr. Phil.

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

"You gave me the wrong drink. I demand a total refund!!" "OK. Where's the drink?" "What do you mean? I drank it. It wasn't till I was done that I realized it was the wrong drink. The right drink leaves a different aftertaste." "You can't finish the drink and then ask for a refund. That's not how it works." "You didn't tell me that before I paid for the wrong drink. So that's on you." "That's not how it works!"

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"I said FETCH! Not KVETCH!"

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Awkward customers.

'Of course I care, madam!'

Ryanair refunds

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"I think I speak for all of us."

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

'-and remember,Higgins-it's the fault that counts!'

"I want you to share any concerns you have about customer care and I'll see if I can do anything about your whining not completely destroying your career."

"Look, I'm always happy to help customers with their problems. But you're talking to the wrong idiot."

Complaints department.