Complaint Collector Gifts

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"It's so nice being on vacation and having different things to complain about."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

Stern looking woman sitting at a service window labeled "Complaints".

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

Oftrack - 'It's the body that deals with derailment complaints!'

"To think I used to complain about making house calls!"

'The last candlelit supper we had was when they cut the power off.'

"So, after days of moaning about the heat, you can now moan about the torrential rain."

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"I can't find my car!"

"And another thing. . . Why can you never get a plumber when you need one?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

Complaints Desk

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Awkward customers.

'Hello, Room Service?'

'Of course I care, madam!'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"I think I speak for all of us."

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"It's too easy to lose a business card. A rubber stamp, you'll remember."