Complaint Counselor Gifts

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

Complaints Desk

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Awkward customers.

'Of course I care, madam!'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"I think I speak for all of us."

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"I invent things to complain about."

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

'You walked through the park to get here, didn't you, Modom?'

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."

Complaints department.

"We're happy that you got great news on your tests. We're still sending in our grievance counselor to help you cope with your medical bill, though."

"Look, I'm always happy to help customers with their problems. But you're talking to the wrong idiot."

'-and remember,Higgins-it's the fault that counts!'

Customer Services - Ten complaints or less.