Complaints Officer Gifts

'Who do I complain to about you?'

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

"How's work?"

'Of course I care, madam!'

Broken Ladder.

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

"Complaints should be seen as a 'learning opportunity'. I'm using some of them to learn how to make a papier-mâché model of the Pyramid of Giza."

"You're the third person who's complained about it this morning! What is it about you people?"

"Yes, sir, our complaints department is on the fifty-seventh floor, but before you go, may I ask if it's about the lift being out of order?"

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Complaints desk attached with guillotine.

'...And another 10 things I hate about my job...'

'Now, what's your complaint?'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"I quite agree - the weather has been pretty dreadful lately."

'Purvis, you're here to resolve complaints, not to cause them.'

'You call this a store? I don't like your sign!'

'Frankly, I find your reference to bias offensive.'

Oftrack - 'It's the body that deals with derailment complaints!'

When a customer loses his cool, rise above it and remain calm.

"Look, I'm always happy to help customers with their problems. But you're talking to the wrong idiot."

Complaints.

'It's not her fault - she only started today!'

'Can't it wait until I get home, dear?'

"First of all, I don't like sitting behind this window all day."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"I said FETCH! Not KVETCH!"

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'