Complaint Commander Gifts

"Cooling off period? I'm so cold I'll probably never use your services again!"

"Is 'disgusted with the whole lot of them' a choice?"

Moses holds up new federal regulation guidelines.

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

Complaints Desk

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

Awkward customers.

'Of course I care, madam!'

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

Wal Max - Complaints Department

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"I think I speak for all of us."

'And I don't appreciate being left on hold,with Motorhead's 'The ace of spades'!'

"I heard you are charging a monthly fee for using your debit card, and I'm here to complain!"

'The food's lousy! The water's too cold! The pond needs cleaning! You should feed us more often!'

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I invent things to complain about."