Complaint Collectors Gifts

'The world is a complete mess!'

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Last guy that worked here did nothing but complain.'

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

'No, we don't take complaints, we SELL complaints.. If the sign said POPCORN, you wouldn't try to GIVE me popcorn, would you?'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Hello, Room Service?'

'Of course I care, madam!'

"There's a grouch on my couch."

Sharings,,,formerly complaints,

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"I think I speak for all of us."

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

'They made him take a vow of silence so he'd have to stop complaining about his oath of poverty.'

"I don't get it...my boss once said that he loves animals...just last week he called me 'the laziest dog he did ever see.' But yet he fired me..."

"I invent things to complain about."

"'C-minus'? -- I'd like to speak to your supervisor!"

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

Customer Service - 'No - I demand to speak to your real manager!'

'Hi, I'm from Complainers Anonymous. Can I see the manager?'

"Look, I'm always happy to help customers with their problems. But you're talking to the wrong idiot."

'What are you annoyed about now?'

'You walked through the park to get here, didn't you, Modom?'

"Customer complaints are a 'learning' experience... and the first thing you need to learn is how to use the office shredding machine."

'Is that the Acme Travel Agency? I'm complaining about the lousy food on board ship!'

"Too sunny for you. Too dry. Whatever next?"

Angel Stands In Line At Hell's Complaints Desk