Comedic Complaint Collector Gifts

'Hello, Room Service?'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Surf Casting

"War is hell and so is this soup."

Flyfishing for dummies.

Santa called but you were out!

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

In, Out, Complain.

'Gents toilet? Ah, got me there...'

'Look at that! Our first big snowfall, Timmy!'

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Wife and two hernias to support!"

'The hair plugs are that noticeable, huh?'

'I don't like to complain, Evelyn, but aren't these family reunions getting out of hand?'

Minnesota Weather.

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

Moanathon.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"You say that life is suffering, but isn't it also complaining?"

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."