Complaint Appreciators Gifts

"Technically, it's not your time yet, but we were sick of your complaining."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Final words on gravestones.

In, Out, Complain.

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

"I speak Latin, you know."

"Fulfilling others on Thanksgiving is pretty good advice, wouldn't you say?"

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

Moanathon.

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

"I just love your use of lying"

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'