Complaint Appreciators Pillows

"Technically, it's not your time yet, but we were sick of your complaining."

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Final words on gravestones.

"I speak Latin, you know."

In, Out, Complain.

The president of a company see a sign: While you were out we hit the lottery!

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Mom, this is Sarah, the friend I was telling you about."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'If a job's worth doing, it's worth off-shooting.'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

Moanathon.

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"There's a grouch on my couch."

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

"I just love your use of lying"

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'