Quirky Complaints Appreciator Pillows

'Then when I hit a puddle it shrank!'

Complaints Department

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Final words on gravestones.

In, Out, Complain.

Complaints departement for men and women.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

"...but, seriously..."

"Hope you don't mind—it was his last request."

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

Continental Breakfast...$2.99: 'What continent is THIS supposed to represent?'

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

Moanathon.

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

Airline concerns.

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

"Just eat your alphabet soup Harold."

"I just love your use of lying"

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

Patience Tested While You Wait.

"One more remark like that, lady, and you'll never get to see this show."

"The Grumpy Old Man comes with a side of, Get A haircut, Turn That Thing Down or Get Off My Lawn."

"I'm returning this mirror. It makes me look fat."