Quirky Complainer Pillows

"Waiter, there's a greenfly in my soup!"

'Almost everything I have hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work!'

'If it 'tells' the time, why do I have to look at it?'

"When will I be old enough to have an inner child?"

Ostrich Curoisities

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

#notblessed

"You don't look a day over 30,000."

"I finally have an ailment that isn't so bad that I'm worried, but bad enough for me to complain about constantly"

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

What's the antidote for wheat germ?

Welcome to Yosemite, Hell on Earth!

'Am I covered if a car falls on my tree?'

"Do you think it's an accident of history that Freemasons live in houses and we live in trees?"

Wow! — this discredits all my theories.

'Waiter, a café with chairs, tables and two coffees please!'

"Where does it hurt?"

Frequently Asked Questions

'Sure I had the world on a string, sittin' on a rainbow, but my finger turned blue and my hemorrhoids were killing me!'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

STRIP Hambone: Techinical support in layman's terms #2

"What has one horn and gives milk?"

"How long have you been delusional?"

'You know, this work is misery, but I really like the people I work with.'

Dog reading catalog with impish grin.

'I hope you find something that's worth complaining to my friends about.'

I have my suspicions about him.

"Don't worry about me. I can be unhappy just about anywhere."

'I'm afraid your complaining is chronic.' - 'I want a second opinion!!'

'You can contact us 3 ways: an email that will be trashed, a fax that will be buried, and a letter which will be lost.'

'The alarm didn't go off, my car wouldn't start, missed the bus, my back's aching, haven't had a raise in two years ...'

"Do you mind? That’s really annoying."