Complaint Appreciation Pillows

"I'm just here to complain about the length of this line."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

"War is hell and so is this soup."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

In, Out, Complain.

'A word of advice, the squeaky wheel gets the totally organic, 0 trans-fat, soy-based lubricant.'

Complaints departement for men and women.

"Waiter, there's a hair in my soup!"

'Someday we'll look back on this and think, ‘Why the hell didn't we sue?' '

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

The nurses here are so slow. Could this blanket be any thinner? The buttons on the tv remote are too darn small. Although her health had improved, Mabel's condition remained critical.

Complaints clerk to consumer: A hair in your TV dinner? Maybe it belongs to a celebrity!

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

'Oh quit griping and be thankful we even got a bonus this year!'

"Cable, my foot! Still snow on the TV!"

Moanathon.

'He's sending it back....again! I swear this guy can't get no satisfaction.'

'I thought I'd seen everything, and then my wife came up with tofu fajitas.'

'I hate them too. Listen, would you like to go out sometime? Dinner maybe? We could complain about the service.'

"We only shop brick and mortar because my husband likes to be disgruntled face-to-face when returning things."

'When I said you should complain about your steak I didn't mean whining about it on twitter.'

'Hello, Room Service?'

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

After eating here for years, I've come down with abdominal pain and fatigue. Oh yeah? Also, irritability, sleep problems, headaches, loss of appetite, inexplicable weight loss, vomiting and constipation. Also, it took me three whole hours to figure out my new Apple watch, so chalk me up for learning difficulties. You're not by chance trying to get in one last lawsuit before Trump deregulates everything, are you? Heavens, no. Just feeling a little lead-poisony is all I'm saying.

"My left buttock is noticeable larger than my right and my dog is missing his hind legs."

"There's a grouch on my couch."

'How long do I have to sit like this? My neck is stiff, my arms ache. I've got pins and needles...'

'To be honest, you're the only one who sometimes bothers to hear my complaints.'

Wine, Whine. Unwind.

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

"True, the fly is not in my soup. But it took one taste of my soup and dropped dead."

"I think I speak for all of us."

Patience Tested While You Wait.