Competitive Shoppers Gifts

'You say you broke 100 in golf? I did it at the store.'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

Sale.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Customer Convention

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

Crisis Buzz.

'I've got it written down...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

Man on Stilts in a Market

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Shopping Torture

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"