Competitive Shopper Gifts

'Are you looking at my bid?'

'She's in training for the Olympics. The 100 metre sprint to the checkout.'

Man on Stilts in a Market

"Thanks for all your sales help. I like the outfit so much, I bought it online in the dressing room!"

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

Sale.

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

Crisis Buzz.

"Got any cards saying friendship is priceless under 5 bucks?"

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

'I've got it written down...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"You might say I'm middle-of-the-road. I'd buy a fur coat but I wouldn't buy a Japanese fur coat."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'But what do you sell?'

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

"You've got two more things to worry about now. You're mad and I'm expensive."

Shopping Torture

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'