Strategic Shopper Gifts

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."

'I've started marketing my shop like a certain computer company ...'

Getting what you need without passing the toy section.

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'I've got it written down...'

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

Man on Stilts in a Market

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

'But what do you sell?'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

'I'm the same as you - too sick to go into work, but well enough to go shopping!'

"The curvature of the screen tricks the brain into perceiving that you're not overpaying."