Strategic Shopper Gifts

"I'm looking for something that expresses the spirit of the season but doesn't neglect the need for a credible deterrent."

'I've started marketing my shop like a certain computer company ...'

Getting what you need without passing the toy section.

"You want to go shopping in Lisbon? Honey, give me 10 seconds to sign the order to invade Portugal!"

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"No, we can't get you a new toy every time we go shopping."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Holiday Sales: The Starting Line

Shampoo and Salad Dressing.

"I'll throw in a few extra pinstripes."

'I've got it written down...'

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

"Consumer confidence remains high as long as we keep them distracted buying stuff."

"How will you be paying? Crypto, Venmo, electronic fund transfer, credit card, check, cash, precious metals, brightly colored shells or livestock?"

"I have no idea where we parked the car, or why we exist."

"Eeny, meeny, miney, mo.."

'And this one is just today's grocery list from my wife.'

"Class, welcome back Sean ... who, you may recall, was lost for eight days in Home Depot."

"Why is this cart so heavy?"

'When it comes to shopping, not only does the buck stop here, but so do the fives, tens, twenties, fifties and hundreds.'

'But what do you sell?'

Man on Stilts in a Market

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons than in the dollar...'

'Our definition of a 'bargain' is right there in the small print.'

One Dollar, One Vote

'I'm sure I've forgotten something. I got change from a fifty.'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

"Oh no. It's another death caused by 'economy pack syndrome'!"

"I've got a lot of stuff, a ton of coupons, and I pay by check, so all you behind me...get comfortable!"

'Blimey, you must have charged for the trolley as well!'